Burn, “Chinese Burn”! ('Escape From Plan A' Ep. 7)

A show this terrible and self-hating deserves more ridicule than outrage. Jess, Chris, and Mark gladly volunteer for the task!

3 years ago

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What would happen if Gina Choe, Tila Tequila, and Esther Ku made a TV show? Probably something like BBC’s Chinese Burn. Chris, Jess, and Mark have some fun tearing into this one.

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The following are edited excerpts from “Burn, ‘Chinese Burn’!”, the 7th episode of Plan A’s podcast, Escape From Plan A.

It just came off as amateurish from the start. It was amateur hour. If they were at the Apollo, they’d be booed off the stage. They’d have gotten the hook.

— Mark

Bitch, did you not think this fucking through? You want to complain about how you hate it when someone asks you to put on an Asian accent to be a prostitute. But you thought it was totally okay to make a field of Asian guys talk about their one-inch dicks? The juxtaposition in what they’re talking about and the reality behind these scenes, it was incredible how oblivious to reality they were.

— Jess

The small dick joke didn’t make any sense, because he first boasts about his one-inch dick. Later on, he gets offended when Jackie makes fun of his dick. Motherfucker, make up your mind.

— Chris

The central flaw, of many flaws, is that the creators are just confused of what they really want to do. They have no direction or vision of what they want to accomplish or how they want to accomplish it. As Jess said, they just had this vision board of, “We’re gonna tear up the model minority script and we’re gonna do it by being wild and wacky!” But that’s not a plan. That’s a wish.

— Mark

Regarding “DAGs”, I love the fact how before, Asian guys all had greasy bowl cuts, we just wore sweatpants and worn-out running shoes all the time, and that’s what was wrong with us. Now we’re too groomed. We’re wearing crisp white shirts with creased pants and nice shoes. What kind of woman wants that?!

— Chris

I put the blame squarely on the creators. I’m not letting them put this on the BBC. Yes, there are probably pathological decision trees that led to this show being promoted, aired, funded, all of that. But ultimately, the buck ends with the people who wrote this, who produced this. And it was promoted as an Asian vehicle. We had an Asian writing staff, the cast was primarily Asian. If you want that credit, then you have to be willing to take the responsibility for the work that you produce. So don’t just try to escape out the back door and say it’s BBC’s fault for letting this happen.

— Jess



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Published 3 years ago